Abuse Recovery

Question:

::scratches beard that I don’t have::

But how’s your moustache? (Remember Groucho/Chico as stowaways in Monkey Business?) P.

Response:

Some people with, or without,  anxiety can be very upset by posts that they view as attacking them, their efforts, their Trolls have also been known to exploit such vulnerabilities. Moderation provides a safer haven. Meryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity.   i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

Response:

::scratches beard that I don’t have:: But how’s your moustache? (Remember Groucho/Chico as stowaways in Monkey Business?) P.

a day at the races or a night at the opera ??? Even Queen could not decide R.

Response:

Aha.. so you can’t be ‘forthcoming, honest or express yourself’ and be nice at the same time?

what does the judgement call of "nice" have to do with gagging one’s opinion? being "nice" would be up to subjection by moderators, as well, which is also a form of control.  my point was, (is this all that difficult, folks?) that controlling people’s behavior brings you what you WANT, as opposed to the truth.   Nah, you obviously can’t. You are always right, you’re the one and only, the all-time winner, the best of the best, bla bla..

since i have NEVER been a fan of being "right", (was never that pretentious), i see that you have projected your own conclusion on me and made it fact… so thank you for what is obviously on your mind regarding my stated opinions. A moderated group is necessary to avoid flaming among other things, such as spam, or even those who are always complaining, insulting, wishing other’s death, etc. This silly "conversation" couldn’t be possible at ASAPM.

so you would rather see "well-mannered and proper" as opposed to truthful.   that’s cool.  and i think i saw a spot with yer name on it in ASAPM !  why ya here, Sagan? ya done left like 4 times and keep comin back…. and you have been just a manifestation of "nice and polite", yourself ! Take it easy, if you don’t like it, don’t use it. I don’t find a reason to critizise ASAPM,

so i assume you are extremely bored, as your posts so blatantly scream when you just can’t let go of John Hudson.. and to revisit your sensibilities on you… if you don’t like him, don’t talk to him.  i find no reason, myself, to criticize John. Sagan?  (in the world of diametrical opposition, and oxymonic behavior, you’re a natural!) People is very nice there.

so nice is very important to you, from others, i see.  it means something. what does it mean, Sagan?  you’re accepted?  you’re validated?  you’re a product of what others say in a controlled environment, of what you wish to hear? filtering is the greatest cop-out available to avoid truth. what is it, Sagan? with nice as such a goal for you, as an expectation in others, do you think you might consider another personality change?  maybe to "the nice boy?" i, personally, never expected of others what i expect of myself.  in your case, you expect way MORE of others than you expect from yourself, you exude neediness. if one is agreeable with you, that is a workable situation for you. if one is disagreeable with you, they become the enemy… (you really CAN’T handle the truth, Sagan) My 2.334.488 billion cents, specially for you

::tossin it in a fountain:: wishing for you a step up to the mirror… and the ability to not only look, but see….  who you are, what you are, why you are, without judgement or blame..  it’s a difficult reflection to stand still for… that mirror will give you truth, if you allow it… don’t moderate it, inflict your guidelines, or decide what you will see.   look long and hard, open yourself to the truth, you may find the path that was meant for you, if honesty can infiltrate your fear. (the man in the mirror is easy to walk away from, the man in the mirror is harder to stand and face.)                                                                                                 ::followin’ tha yellow brick road:: ~tanya

Response:

Yes dear, you’re missing the point of moderated groups. A group for Jewish people, for example, gets Nazi posts just because it can be done. Moderated groups won’t allow that because no one belonging to such a group wants to see such postings – and the feelings it can bring out.

i guess i AM missing the point… so moderation keeps "real life" outta people’s way, so the reality is much better under wraps.  oh, i think i’m gettin it now ! (protection mechanisms)   For a group of Nazis (or the like), they don’t want bible thumpers running through their group touting ‘the’ answers – and….. tolerance!

whadda they want?  to live in a dream world or face reality.  i’m votin on dream world. Bible thumpers don’t want atheists posting ‘only’ to cause trouble.

no, we wouldn’t want ta see the other point of view, the opposition’s behavior, as it is vulgar, and we can’t have THAT !  the behavior of the some atheists, (not to generalize) should NEVER be acknowledged, as that should NEVER be part of the learning experience the newsgroups seem to employ. Are there legit posts that could be food for thought?

the posts that are not supportive of your group… in no way could be food for thought, i guess.  i guess ya can’t compare apples and oranges.  (cuz the oranges are just troublemakers). Is that the norm, however? I haven’t seen that to be the case, in over 8 years on usenet.

so discrimination serves a purpose in your view, i see.. turning a blind eye is a very popular theory among those who choose not to see. For those serious about the group/subject, this ‘clutter’ gets in the way of exchanging ideas or just thoughts with each other.

one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  ever think the "clutter" may be just as important as the "idea exchaning" system?   Those are extreme examples, perhaps. Perhaps not.

no, they’re examples.. who am i to judge their extremity, or otherwise.   For those with social phobia, judgments and name calling can be a real slam and set back – as these folks are usually fighting a ‘feeling’ of being scrutinized of every word they write.

it doesn’t stop the world from turning, should the ways of the world not be part of the learning process?   They can choose to read their name in a subject, or in a post being called all sorts of names (or the potential that it will happen), or choose to belong to a group where that doesn’t happen.

safety zones create comfort, (a false sense, sometimes) among those unwilling to take responsibity for the truth, as we know it, and as it displays itself. They can choose to belong to a group where flame wars are possible, and just ‘go with the flow’ or choose to be in a group where they don’t have to face that possibility (which is more a likelihood – or inevitable part of usenet, actually).

i’m guessin the option to choose the "easy way out" and not face reality is the way ta go for some, no "in your face" stuff, that could create havoc.. (which, of course, is non-existent in the world) Some just can’t stand the noise, so exercise a choice. It would appear that you’re all for personal choices…

amen. i feel ya.  would i be a moderator?  (well, i’d never be asked, but let’s pretend)  no, i would not.  i couldn’t bear the responsibility of filtering real life scenarios from people apt to deal with real life scenarios.   do ya keep yer kid home from school cuz a bully threatens him?  or ya teach him how ta stand tall, be counted. yes, every person has a right to chose to hide.  well said. (just ain’t my bag) ~tanya

Response:

The thing with us E-man is that we both saw what it can do to a newsgroup… Some posters are not even aware that everything is archive… We are old timers

so why ya here in an unmoderated group?  you left, Rich, and you choose to come back on a whim.. (i mean tip) that your new group is being discussed?  so you respect Y’ALL’S need to have no intrusive behavior, but ya sure run for the open door of this group ta display your opinions of my opinion.  and it’s archived?  so?  does that mean something?  so some people are pack rats…. i’m all for anyone being here…. just kinda strange that the people that stand for "non-invasion" choose this group as their forum to promote moderated values. kinda like advertising for Burger King with a Big Mac in yer hand. and where ya been, Rich?   ya not IMin the hell outta me no more… i guess the truth does tend to create strange bedfellows.  i miss ya tho ! ~~~no more songs, no more love poems, no more "singin muh praises"… i think shall wilt. ~tanya

Response:

I have my own archives of many ‘non-archived’ posters It’s certainly not for the paranoid

(even though you find it necessary to mention you have the archives.   i understand.. i had a boyfriend in 9th grade that reminded me of everything i did and said at when and where.. it was great for him ta have proof ta make me wrong.  that was so long ago, wonder where he is.. i’m hopin he grew up ! who really need a ’somewhat’ protected atmosphere, where they won’t get attacked,

(antarctica?) The delete key doesn’t make the ’subject line’ invisible!

::coverin eyes:: NO NO NO !!! NOT THE SUBJECT LINE !  and WHO IS GONNA KEEP THEM CHICK-FILET BILLBOARDS OUTTA MY REALM OF VISION?  I HAD SUCH A PHOBIA OF CLIMBIN’ COWS ! I will say there are some fantastic idiots at ASAPM, but some real doosies on ASAP as well

well yer a very fair man.  and idiots are everywhere, if you care to judge that, and how do you possibly adjust all THOSE people out of your awareness? remaining unaware, creating your own truth, seems a very popular theme for your forum. Not wanting cootie subjects crosses all age, sex and IQ barriers

i couldn’t have proven your own point one iota more effectively as you did, yourself. For me, I don’t care one way or the other.

yes, this is obvious by your non-participatory behavior. I do feel that for support groups to live on, however, they need a moderated version, at the very least.

( i thought ya didn’t care one way or the other… maybe ya change yer mind a lot.. ) That’s my long standing opinion on that

yes, thou opinionated one that don’t care one way or the other… it’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it…..

then ya best stop talkin now.. cuz yer bound ta contradict yerself, based on your previous posts. (don’t it feel icky ta see yerself knee-deep in vulnerabilty?… and oxymoronic waters?) ~xoxoxoxox ~tanya

Response:

Sure, but spam can *really* change the character of a newsgroup and chase people away. You might be able to cope with that but a lot of people can’t.

can’t cope with spam?  JAN !!!!  omggggg, i hope these same people ain’t runnin around loose !!!  if ya can’t cope with spam, i ain’t sure there’s much else ya can cope with.   maybe it’s a new disorder…. "spamania" …..  LOLOLOL ~xoxoxox tanya

Response:

disorder to worry about!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sure, but spam can *really* change the character of a newsgroup and chase people away. You might be able to cope with that but a lot of people can’t. can’t cope with spam?  JAN !!!!  omggggg, i hope these same people ain’t runnin around loose !!!  if ya can’t cope with spam, i ain’t sure there’s much else ya can cope with. maybe it’s a new disorder…. "spamania" …..  LOLOLOL ~xoxoxox tanya

Response:

so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.

Aha.. so you can’t be ‘forthcoming, honest or express yourself’ and be nice at the same time? Nah, you obviously can’t. You are always right, you’re the one and only, the all-time winner, the best of the best, bla bla.. A moderated group is necessary to avoid flaming among other things, such as spam, or even those who are always complaining, insulting, wishing other’s death, etc. This silly "conversation" couldn’t be possible at ASAPM. or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand::

Take it easy, if you don’t like it, don’t use it. I don’t find a reason to critizise ASAPM, unless you’re bored or have too much spare time to waste. People is very nice there. My 2.334.488 billion cents, specially for you Sagan

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sure, but spam can *really* change the character of a newsgroup and chase people away. You might be able to cope with that but a lot of people can’t. can’t cope with spam?  JAN !!!!  omggggg, i hope these same people ain’t runnin around loose !!!  if ya can’t cope with spam, i ain’t sure there’s much else ya can cope with.   maybe it’s a new disorder…. "spamania" …..  LOLOLOL ~xoxoxox tanya

Give me a break. I was just pointing out how moderation can be useful and suddenly I am incapable of dealing with spam. I’m just saying moderated groups exist for a reason. DEAL WITH IT. — Be here below, all that you are above! http://tinyurl.com/4pztu

Response:

I once had a difficult and long bout with spamania.  The onset was insidious and not easily noticed by others at first; just a few spam sandwiches here and there..  Before long, I was buying whole grocery bags full of spam cans, and about a year later I found myself buying it by the case, and rooms in my home were filled with cases and cases of spam.  At any moment, I was given to just rip a box open, and devour the spam from a can or two, with my bare hands…. It was not pretty. Through much CBT (!) I was able to cut down on spam, and eventually weaned off it altogether using a very gradual tapering program (about 1/4 to 1/8 of my daily amount every week or so).  Thankfully I am now Spam-Free and eat a normal amount of canned meat products (none) and for this I am thankful to all who offered their support and help. Spam is the worst food in America.  Am I still allowed to say that?  I imagine that if the Bush/Cheney world order continues to come to fruition, the day will come when I can’t.  Politics is probably best left out of a good old fashionned anecdote though, so I will just caution.  Spam: it can catch up with you.  Spamania:  uncommon?  no; a violation of all that is holy, most definitely. Gary

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sure, but spam can *really* change the character of a newsgroup and chase people away. You might be able to cope with that but a lot of people can’t. can’t cope with spam?  JAN !!!!  omggggg, i hope these same people ain’t runnin around loose !!!  if ya can’t cope with spam, i ain’t sure there’s much else ya can cope with. maybe it’s a new disorder…. "spamania" …..  LOLOLOL ~xoxoxox tanya

Response:

Some just can’t stand the noise, so exercise a choice. It would appear that you’re all for personal choices… so….. http://makeashorterlink.com/?P2A512BB9 (it reads so nice, I posted it twice — E…

The thing with us E-man is that we both saw what it can do to a newsgroup… Some posters are not even aware that everything is archive… We are old timers do you prefer mine ??? Even some from popejed! http://tinyurl.com/4arop Rich

Response:

I will say there are some fantastic idiots at ASAPM, but some real doosies on ASAP as well.  Not wanting cootie subjects crosses all age, sex and IQ barriers For me, I don’t care one way or the other. I do feel that for support groups to live on, however, they need a moderated version, at the very least. That’s my long standing opinion on that – it’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it…..

I guess it won’t be a big surprise E-Man, I agree with you 100%… The beauty of this is that you can actually *choose* where you want to hang out, post or lurk… ‘nother one? http://tinyurl.com/3o4wr Rich

Response:

a day at the races or a night at the opera ??? Even Queen could not decide

CLEAN UP ON AISLE 3 !  WE GOTTA TAIL-GATER !

Response:

the point is there are two gums in one. trident bubblegum and spearmint . Guess who is the bubblegum and guess who is the spearmint? I can go on and on about this but then again I don’t want to bring out my Catcher in the rye guy unless you wanna hear it.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity. i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

Response:

For me, I don’t care one way or the other

HERRRRRRRRRRRRRE we go agin. I do feel that for support groups to live on, however, they need a moderated version, at the very least.

(still don’t care, ya see) That’s my long standing opinion on that

(don’t care… nope.. no care tracks behind HIM!) I guess it won’t be a big surprise E-Man, I agree with you 100%…

……then we have the "contradiction in terms" support system, followers of all, leaders of none. The beauty of this is that you can actually *choose* where you want to hang out, post or lurk…

and here ?  you can do it without a hall monitor !  as acceptance is a common thread among most in here.  and you can post in the other group, and ya just might be booted to da curb.  so your "hang out, post, or lurk where ya want" comment?  you getta 2 outta 3.. THANKS FOR PLAYIN !

Response:

i never understood the disdain for spam… i’ve always been quite capable of ignoring and/or deleting the stuff… maybe i just don’t get irritated by the stuff that’s so easily dispensed with and solvable by a push of a button.  my own fruition seems ta get me thru many things more important than spam.  GIVE PEOPLE SOME CREDIT !!!!!  fer chissakes… ya think the moderator is interested if not, just filter spam.. and be done with it. BAM ! ~tanya

Sure, but spam can *really* change the character of a newsgroup and chase people away. You might be able to cope with that but a lot of people can’t. If you have something good going why not protect it? And moderation is one way. Jan — Be here below, all that you are above! http://tinyurl.com/4pztu

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity.   i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

It’s not a bad thing. For one, moderation keeps out spam. This can be really useful in groups which have the word sex in their title eg alt.sexual-abuse.recovery. j — Be here below, all that you are above! http://tinyurl.com/4pztu

Response:

Now you get the feel of it Tanya, what is the point?

i still dunno.. if ya dictate ta people, don’t allow room for them to be themselves, then whacha end up with is a robotic version of your OWN integrity placed upon another, which masks the real person, so you’ve basically set yourself up to be lied to, inadvertently, i’m sure, as i ain’t real sure these people don’t know manipulation of behavior breeds diminishment of that persons true self…. so i guess if that’s their bag…. they can diggit. personally?  i wanna know who YOU are, not who you are when living sumbody else’s standards. i guess ya get what ya want that way, and if what ya want is more important than the truth?  DING DING DING !!!!  i reckon ya got whacha asked for. The result is a daily heap of pap,

is that a smear?????? ewwwwwwww "Question of the Day"!!  yeah, that was way creative. "what is the molecular content of grits?" woulda been more interesting, i’m thinkin. but then agin… i never participated in PMS chat anyway.  i’m too busy PMS’n. Ugh! It’s Monday!! ;o(

it was 4:00 this mornin’ and right in tha middle of a dream…. i was kissin’ Valentino by a crystal blue italian streammmm….. <<<<just another manic monday xoxoxoxoxox ~tanya

Response:

It’s not a bad thing. For one, moderation keeps out spam.

i never understood the disdain for spam… i’ve always been quite capable of ignoring and/or deleting the stuff… maybe i just don’t get irritated by the stuff that’s so easily dispensed with and solvable by a push of a button.  my own fruition seems ta get me thru many things more important than spam.  GIVE PEOPLE SOME CREDIT !!!!!  fer chissakes… ya think the moderator is interested if not, just filter spam.. and be done with it. BAM ! ~tanya

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity. i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

I can only guess that some people like the comfort of sercurity that a moderated group gives. There a modded one and an unmodded one so people can make their own personal choice I guess.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It’s not a bad thing. For one, moderation keeps out spam. i never understood the disdain for spam… i’ve always been quite capable of ignoring and/or deleting the stuff… maybe i just don’t get irritated by the stuff that’s so easily dispensed with and solvable by a push of a button. my own fruition seems ta get me thru many things more important than spam. GIVE PEOPLE SOME CREDIT !!!!!  fer chissakes… ya think the moderator is interested if not, just filter spam.. and be done with it. BAM ! ~tanya

I often find some spam quite amusing. Daniko.

Response:

so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity.   i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -so…… i just visited a moderated group,  where all posts are approved by a "committee/hall monitor/omnipotent judges.  doesn’t that cancel the basis of a group?  i.e. forthcoming, honest, self-expression?  just wondering.. cuz i’ve never seen anything like that.  seems to contradict the reasons one would share experiences, based on another’s approval.  wonder who nominates the "chosen ones" to act as the disgressionary governing entity.   i wanna run for office, let’s moderate this group.. i wanna experience POWER in the name of "unacceptable/acceptable" feelings or thoughts.. (i need a platform) or maybe i’m missin’ sumthin. and i’m SURE i’d be moderated outta the building in 2.3 seconds.. ::tryin ta understand:: ~~~~~~tanya   (unappointed judge, and likin it)

Now you get the feel of it Tanya, what is the point? It means a few control freaks get to run things to their own entire satisfaction. The result is a daily heap of pap, which is about as stimulating as a teenagers’ chat room. As I said about ASAPM, just have a look at the content of the posts, particularly Queen Jacksie’s "Question of the Day"!! BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA er… etc! Ugh! It’s Monday!! ;o(

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