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Psst. James. Cmere.. *I think Pat is a big manipulative liar. ; ) Now really let me have it over what REALLY pisses off. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Psst. James. Cmere.. *I think Pat is a big manipulative liar. ; ) Now really let me have it over what REALLY pisses off.
You are making no sense. Not only did this have nothing whatsoever to do with Pat, your sentence above just ain’t a makin’ it. But I suppose I should attempt to respond and say what Really pisses off… but I can only think of something that won’t Really piss off… you. And you can think whatever you want, doesn’t make you right, and very often you are wrong… you just don’t know it. Now… would you care to explain why… when you were doing so good for so many months… even when you were getting heaps of shit… you’ve now decided to go back to being a major ass? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Psst…James…Pat has her head up her rear…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Psst. James. Cmere.. *I think Pat is a big manipulative liar. ; ) Now really let me have it over what REALLY pisses off. You are making no sense. Not only did this have nothing whatsoever to do with Pat, your sentence above just ain’t a makin’ it. But I suppose I should attempt to respond and say what Really pisses off… but I can only think of something that won’t Really piss off… you. And you can think whatever you want, doesn’t make you right, and very often you are wrong… you just don’t know it. Now… would you care to explain why… when you were doing so good for so many months… even when you were getting heaps of shit… you’ve now decided to go back to being a major ass?
Response:
Hey James…Pat sucks… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Psst…James…Pat has her head up her rear…. From your vantage point at the moment, it probably looks that way. Heck… everybody probably looks that way to you right now… and you ain’t got clue #1 why, do you? Psst. James. Cmere.. *I think Pat is a big manipulative liar. ; ) Now really let me have it over what REALLY pisses off. You are making no sense. Not only did this have nothing whatsoever to do with Pat, your sentence above just ain’t a makin’ it. But I suppose I should attempt to respond and say what Really pisses off… but I can only think of something that won’t Really piss off… you. And you can think whatever you want, doesn’t make you right, and very often you are wrong… you just don’t know it. Now… would you care to explain why… when you were doing so good for so many months… even when you were getting heaps of shit… you’ve now decided to go back to being a major ass?
Response:
Psst…James…Pat has her head up her rear….
From your vantage point at the moment, it probably looks that way. Heck… everybody probably looks that way to you right now… and you ain’t got clue #1 why, do you? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Psst. James. Cmere.. *I think Pat is a big manipulative liar. ; ) Now really let me have it over what REALLY pisses off. You are making no sense. Not only did this have nothing whatsoever to do with Pat, your sentence above just ain’t a makin’ it. But I suppose I should attempt to respond and say what Really pisses off… but I can only think of something that won’t Really piss off… you. And you can think whatever you want, doesn’t make you right, and very often you are wrong… you just don’t know it. Now… would you care to explain why… when you were doing so good for so many months… even when you were getting heaps of shit… you’ve now decided to go back to being a major ass?
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Loser.
Response:
*laughing. Now that is a response that suggests you are a mature person who likes to converse on an equal footing with strong women, Colin. I’m sure you just showed everyone how badly they misjudged you when they said you were having a hissy fit. Was that your last word? The brevity impresses me, given the loquaciousness you exhibited earlier, and as last words go, it could be pretty effective, but it comes off as kind of whiny and small minded. Tell you what…I’ll let you have another chance for the last word. How’s about that? I’m sure a big strong guy like yourself who is known for that manip…er…contr…um…persuasive intellect can do better than ‘loser’. Ta : ) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Loser. And here you are back, even though you don’t have the time… You are right *for you, Colin. Whatever goes on in your life has NOTHING to do with the truths of mine. Your feelings about gays and marriage do not, in any way, affect the truths of MY life. Get over it. Oh I get it… you being living proof that I’m wrong outweights me being living proof that you’re wrong. How could I have been so niave as to not know that already. *flick* The problem is this Liz; The problem is that you made generalizations and had a fit when I said you are *wrong, and I am living proof that you are *wrong. The problem is you put words in my mouth and it is *obvious you don’t like being disagreed with. Fear has nothing to do with it. that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better. I know better about me than you do, you betcha. You want to do the whole controlling, I know you better honey so trust me thing, I ain’t the one to do it with, Colin. I think it’s rude and arrogant to suggest you know what is true for me better than I do. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to? I don’t need you for that, Colin. Saying feel free to run off and desert the convo is hardly asking for your input. I’m simply saying don’t run off thinking you can get me to buy that you know better than I anything at all or that I am being unreasonable to say, um, no you *don’t. And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating? Not everyone, no. Just the ones who run off when I say I am confident about me and what is right for me. Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial. Yet here ya are, Colin….avoiding the convo entirely and instead tossing these pearls, and it doesn’t sway me at all. You were *wrong. I am *confident about what is right for me, you bet. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules. Oh, I know why you don’t play by my rules, Colin. I’m a little too *confident for you. I make a lousy victim and target. See ya. Toodle pip. Colin. I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose. — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
Response:
Liz, you did lose. You just don’t realize how or why yet.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -*laughing. Now that is a response that suggests you are a mature person who likes to converse on an equal footing with strong women, Colin. I’m sure you just showed everyone how badly they misjudged you when they said you were having a hissy fit. Was that your last word? The brevity impresses me, given the loquaciousness you exhibited earlier, and as last words go, it could be pretty effective, but it comes off as kind of whiny and small minded. Tell you what…I’ll let you have another chance for the last word. How’s about that? I’m sure a big strong guy like yourself who is known for that manip…er…contr…um…persuasive intellect can do better than ‘loser’. Ta : ) Loser. And here you are back, even though you don’t have the time… You are right *for you, Colin. Whatever goes on in your life has NOTHING to do with the truths of mine. Your feelings about gays and marriage do not, in any way, affect the truths of MY life. Get over it. Oh I get it… you being living proof that I’m wrong outweights me being living proof that you’re wrong. How could I have been so niave as to not know that already. *flick* The problem is this Liz; The problem is that you made generalizations and had a fit when I said you are *wrong, and I am living proof that you are *wrong. The problem is you put words in my mouth and it is *obvious you don’t like being disagreed with. Fear has nothing to do with it. that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better. I know better about me than you do, you betcha. You want to do the whole controlling, I know you better honey so trust me thing, I ain’t the one to do it with, Colin. I think it’s rude and arrogant to suggest you know what is true for me better than I do. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to? I don’t need you for that, Colin. Saying feel free to run off and desert the convo is hardly asking for your input. I’m simply saying don’t run off thinking you can get me to buy that you know better than I anything at all or that I am being unreasonable to say, um, no you *don’t. And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating? Not everyone, no. Just the ones who run off when I say I am confident about me and what is right for me. Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial. Yet here ya are, Colin….avoiding the convo entirely and instead tossing these pearls, and it doesn’t sway me at all. You were *wrong. I am *confident about what is right for me, you bet. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules. Oh, I know why you don’t play by my rules, Colin. I’m a little too *confident for you. I make a lousy victim and target. See ya. Toodle pip. Colin. I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose. — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
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snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to.
No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions.
*Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing.
Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
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I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe and you’re so confident in your reply that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
– http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
Response:
And here you are back, even though you don’t have the time… You are right *for you, Colin. Whatever goes on in your life has NOTHING to do with the truths of mine. Your feelings about gays and marriage do not, in any way, affect the truths of MY life. Get over it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oh I get it… you being living proof that I’m wrong outweights me being living proof that you’re wrong. How could I have been so niave as to not know that already. *flick* The problem is this Liz; The problem is that you made generalizations and had a fit when I said you are *wrong, and I am living proof that you are *wrong. The problem is you put words in my mouth and it is *obvious you don’t like being disagreed with. Fear has nothing to do with it. that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better. I know better about me than you do, you betcha. You want to do the whole controlling, I know you better honey so trust me thing, I ain’t the one to do it with, Colin. I think it’s rude and arrogant to suggest you know what is true for me better than I do. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to? I don’t need you for that, Colin. Saying feel free to run off and desert the convo is hardly asking for your input. I’m simply saying don’t run off thinking you can get me to buy that you know better than I anything at all or that I am being unreasonable to say, um, no you *don’t. And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating? Not everyone, no. Just the ones who run off when I say I am confident about me and what is right for me. Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial. Yet here ya are, Colin….avoiding the convo entirely and instead tossing these pearls, and it doesn’t sway me at all. You were *wrong. I am *confident about what is right for me, you bet. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules. Oh, I know why you don’t play by my rules, Colin. I’m a little too *confident for you. I make a lousy victim and target. See ya. Toodle pip. Colin. I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose. — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
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Nother triggery one… What do you do when you want it *bad? When you want it at *all? Do you still feel like shit about it or are you ok with it, and if so, how did you get there? (The rest of us would like to know how to want sex and enjoy it without feeling awful about ourselves later on)
Response:
See below. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Nother triggery one… What do you do when you want it *bad? When you want it at *all? Do you still feel like shit about it or are you ok with it, and if so, how did you get there? (The rest of us would like to know how to want sex and enjoy it without feeling awful about ourselves later on)
This – plus the "tied up" bit in the other post… It’s only a theory – but my idea is that it’s your life – and if you deliberately choose that sort of sex in full awareness that it’s got something to do with some sort of addiction you inherited as a result of your abuse (assuming that that’s the real underlying reason of course) then you’re perfectly entitled to choose that sort of sex and nobody has the right to question whether it’s right or wrong for you. If, however, you choose that sort of sex because it makes you feel bad inside and that’s what you’re most at home with (cos feeling bad is all you’ve ever known…) – I’d probably question whether or not you really ought to be working on what sex is really for – ie. bonding with a (hopefully) life long partner and creating babies for the two of you to devote a lifetime love to. How you reconcile the different parts of you wanting and/or being disgusted with various aspects of sexual activity might be helped a bit if you could manage to decide who’s who inside and what their exact true role in your life is. What I mean is, even in a "singular" person there are different aspects to a person’s character – say a woman could be a worker, a mother, a friend, an athlete, and a wife, but ONLY the wife part has sex cos sex isnt in the job description for any of the other parts. Like I said, it’s only a theory, I could be wrong. I don’t actually get as much chance to practice this sort of thing as I’d like. (not trying to be funny there – I’m a bit too poorly is all) Col.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – See below. Nother triggery one… What do you do when you want it *bad? When you want it at *all? Do you still feel like shit about it or are you ok with it, and if so, how did you get there? (The rest of us would like to know how to want sex and enjoy it without feeling awful about ourselves later on) This – plus the "tied up" bit in the other post… It’s only a theory – but my idea is that it’s your life
Nope. Not entirely. I am into bondage, but I am beyond only being able to enjoy sex when I am tied up. It was a more general question, Colin. – and if you deliberately choose that sort of sex in full awareness that it’s got something to do with some sort of addiction you inherited as a result of your abuse (assuming that that’s the real underlying reason of course) then you’re perfectly entitled to choose that sort of sex and nobody has the right to question whether it’s right or wrong for you.
I don’t think people who are into bondage are because of some other pathology relating to abuse. Lots of people who are into bondage never *got abused. If, however, you choose that sort of sex because it makes you feel bad inside and that’s what you’re most at home with (cos feeling bad is all you’ve ever known…) – I’d probably question whether or not you really ought to be working on what sex is really for – ie. bonding with a (hopefully) life long partner and creating babies for the two of you to devote a lifetime love to.
Sex is *not just for procreation. *g* How you reconcile the different parts of you wanting and/or being disgusted with various aspects of sexual activity might be helped a bit if you could manage to decide who’s who inside and what their exact true role in your life is. What I mean is, even in a "singular" person there are different aspects to a person’s character – say a woman could be a worker, a mother, a friend, an athlete, and a wife, but ONLY the wife part has sex cos sex isnt in the job description for any of the other parts.
Heh….say that to a woman with three kids, two of whom have special needsa, and in the middle of sex you have to say, in as reasonable and normal a tone as possible, YES, you can play with your legos now! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Like I said, it’s only a theory, I could be wrong. I don’t actually get as much chance to practice this sort of thing as I’d like. (not trying to be funny there – I’m a bit too poorly is all) Col.
Response:
Oh I get it… you being living proof that I’m wrong outweights me being living proof that you’re wrong. How could I have been so niave as to not know that already. *flick* – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The problem is this Liz; The problem is that you made generalizations and had a fit when I said you are *wrong, and I am living proof that you are *wrong. The problem is you put words in my mouth and it is *obvious you don’t like being disagreed with. Fear has nothing to do with it. that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better. I know better about me than you do, you betcha. You want to do the whole controlling, I know you better honey so trust me thing, I ain’t the one to do it with, Colin. I think it’s rude and arrogant to suggest you know what is true for me better than I do. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to? I don’t need you for that, Colin. Saying feel free to run off and desert the convo is hardly asking for your input. I’m simply saying don’t run off thinking you can get me to buy that you know better than I anything at all or that I am being unreasonable to say, um, no you *don’t. And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating? Not everyone, no. Just the ones who run off when I say I am confident about me and what is right for me. Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial. Yet here ya are, Colin….avoiding the convo entirely and instead tossing these pearls, and it doesn’t sway me at all. You were *wrong. I am *confident about what is right for me, you bet. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules. Oh, I know why you don’t play by my rules, Colin. I’m a little too *confident for you. I make a lousy victim and target. See ya. Toodle pip. Colin. I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
– If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
Response:
The problem is this Liz; that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to? And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating? Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules. Toodle pip. Colin. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
– If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
Response:
The problem is this Liz;
The problem is that you made generalizations and had a fit when I said you are *wrong, and I am living proof that you are *wrong. The problem is you put words in my mouth and it is *obvious you don’t like being disagreed with. Fear has nothing to do with it. that this is the second time I’ve given you what I consider to be genuine information, and that it’s the second time you’ve dismissed me (somewhat rudely and arrogantly, this time) and pronounced that you know better.
I know better about me than you do, you betcha. You want to do the whole controlling, I know you better honey so trust me thing, I ain’t the one to do it with, Colin. I think it’s rude and arrogant to suggest you know what is true for me better than I do. If I have such a low hit rate why would you even want further input from me Liz? What use could it possibly server other than to give you somebody new to feel superior to?
I don’t need you for that, Colin. Saying feel free to run off and desert the convo is hardly asking for your input. I’m simply saying don’t run off thinking you can get me to buy that you know better than I anything at all or that I am being unreasonable to say, um, no you *don’t. And as for an inability to handle disagreements that’s just plain laughable. Do you really think that everyone is so weak and you’re so intimidating?
Not everyone, no. Just the ones who run off when I say I am confident about me and what is right for me. Fyi, my decision not to persue the conversation any further is based on the fact that I have far more respect for myself than to waste my time and energy throwing hard earned pearls before the proverbial.
Yet here ya are, Colin….avoiding the convo entirely and instead tossing these pearls, and it doesn’t sway me at all. You were *wrong. I am *confident about what is right for me, you bet. If you can’t make use of my little gems I don’t mind in the least Liz, I’ll simply stroll over there and give them to somebody who appreciates them and leave you here to ponder how come not everybody plays by your rules.
Oh, I know why you don’t play by my rules, Colin. I’m a little too *confident for you. I make a lousy victim and target. See ya. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Toodle pip. Colin. I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I. Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — If English folk music is what you get when tradition pre-dates the evolution of the guitar – and country music is what you get when it doesn’t – all I can say is thank goodness I never had to choose.
Response:
I bow to your superiour knowledge Liz. I’m a rampant homophobe
I didn’t say that, Colin. and you’re so confident in your reply
Yes, I am. I am speaking of what I know to be true for me, and for many people I know. How could I be anything *but confident in that? that it’s obvious you must have far more experience of perpetrating sexual abuse than I.
Well, you’re free to turn away from the conversation, and given your apparent inability to handle disagreement or confidence in someone else, that might be best, but I had heard better things about you, Colin. Take care. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Colin. (marking this thread ingnored) snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. You will if you ever need to. No, I really *won’t. I am a married woman with three children, and I know, from my own personal experience, you are *wrong. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. *Laughing…okie dokie. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Uh huh. Colin, this may work for you. You may feel homosexuality is wrong (if you do) and that sex is about procreation and deep meaningful stuff all the time (if you do) but you have got to understand that it is not that way for everyone, everyone does not share these beliefs and vast manies of us put immediate lie to them AND live happy, meaningful lives to boot. Or maybe you *don’t have to understand it, but that’s the way it is regardless. As a friend (or someone I hope is a friend) said to me tonight, I *prefer bisexual and gay partners. Straight people are way too uptight *g* Best… Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
Response:
snip Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing.
You will if you ever need to. The trouble with deliberately denying the sex/bonding/family creating link is the fact that denial of that link is one of the mechanisms abusers employ in order to combat the mental repercussions of their actions. It leaves the door wide open to objectifying the recipient of the sexual contact – which in just about every thinking person’s opinion is considered a Bad Thing. Colin. — http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
Response:
Me, I have no problem wanting it or enjoying it. But I *do still have a problem with how I feel about myself FOR wanting it and enjoying it.
me, too. not all the time, but sometimes. it sucks.
Response:
Hi Q 
sorry to not see more response to this, as it’s a question i would ask. I would love to know how to want it more, and enjoy it more.
Me, I have no problem wanting it or enjoying it. But I *do still have a problem with how I feel about myself FOR wanting it and enjoying it. I feel more broken the older I get. It’s odd too, because I identify as a sexandloveaddict. People really don’t get that. I’m not exactly the anorexic version of it either. But I tell ppl i’m bi and they assume that I’m this sex monster, or a nymph or something, and it’s bizarre.
I don’t : ) I think realizing I was bi at 18 and practicing at telling ppl a lot helped me get good at allowing other ppl to feel and think whatever they would – I don’t need to talk them out of their perceptions. I do get weary of them though. *sigh*
Yes. : ( – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – tb Nother triggery one… What do you do when you want it *bad? When you want it at *all? Do you still feel like shit about it or are you ok with it, and if so, how did you get there? (The rest of us would like to know how to want sex and enjoy it without feeling awful about ourselves later on)
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – much snippage See below. <snip If, however, you choose that sort of sex because it makes you feel bad inside and that’s what you’re most at home with (cos feeling bad is all you’ve ever known…) – I’d probably question whether or not you really ought to be working on what sex is really for – ie. bonding with a (hopefully) life long partner and creating babies for the two of you to devote a lifetime love to. I am totally disappointed and sad. I hadn’t figured you, Colin, for this sort of heterosexist crap.
I read this the same way… I guess it does say ‘i.e.’ so that could be *one* example, but your lack of other examples leaves a lot unsaid. That particular example denies the recovery of so very many people in this group alone. I think one of the defining elements of recovery from abuse (hell, from life – cuz abused folks aren’t the only ones who have trouble with their sex lives) is our right, our ability to create lives that work for US – nobunny else, just us.
Absolutely. I don’t subscribe to the whole sex is about procreation, only straight people, etc thing. There are a lot of other options and opinions out there. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – sore spot…. and btw, SO good to have you back with us Colin! I miss you when you’re not around. tigerbunny
Response:
Hi tigerbunny. I’m sorry I dissapoint you but the only opinion’s I’m qualified to give are my own – somebody esle will have to give all the others… FWIW. I too would like to be tied down and humiliated and scared again but I figure it’s probably unhealthy so I don’t persue it. Thanks for the welcome back btw. It’s much appreciated. 
Col. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – much snippage See below. <snip If, however, you choose that sort of sex because it makes you feel bad inside and that’s what you’re most at home with (cos feeling bad is all you’ve ever known…) – I’d probably question whether or not you really ought to be working on what sex is really for – ie. bonding with a (hopefully) life long partner and creating babies for the two of you to devote a lifetime love to. I am totally disappointed and sad. I hadn’t figured you, Colin, for this sort of heterosexist crap. I guess it does say ‘i.e.’ so that could be *one* example, but your lack of other examples leaves a lot unsaid. That particular example denies the recovery of so very many people in this group alone. I think one of the defining elements of recovery from abuse (hell, from life – cuz abused folks aren’t the only ones who have trouble with their sex lives) is our right, our ability to create lives that work for US – nobunny else, just us. sore spot…. and btw, SO good to have you back with us Colin! I miss you when you’re not around. tigerbunny
– http://www.TraumaSurvival.org http://www.CrazyPeopleIncorporated.co.uk
Response:
Hi Q sorry to not see more response to this, as it’s a question i would ask. I would love to know how to want it more, and enjoy it more. I feel more broken the older I get. It’s odd too, because I identify as a sexandloveaddict. People really don’t get that. I’m not exactly the anorexic version of it either. But I tell ppl i’m bi and they assume that I’m this sex monster, or a nymph or something, and it’s bizarre. I think realizing I was bi at 18 and practicing at telling ppl a lot helped me get good at allowing other ppl to feel and think whatever they would – I don’t need to talk them out of their perceptions. I do get weary of them though. *sigh* tb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Nother triggery one… What do you do when you want it *bad? When you want it at *all? Do you still feel like shit about it or are you ok with it, and if so, how did you get there? (The rest of us would like to know how to want sex and enjoy it without feeling awful about ourselves later on)
Response:
much snippage – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – See below. <snip If, however, you choose that sort of sex because it makes you feel bad inside and that’s what you’re most at home with (cos feeling bad is all you’ve ever known…) – I’d probably question whether or not you really ought to be working on what sex is really for – ie. bonding with a (hopefully) life long partner and creating babies for the two of you to devote a lifetime love to.
I am totally disappointed and sad. I hadn’t figured you, Colin, for this sort of heterosexist crap. I guess it does say ‘i.e.’ so that could be *one* example, but your lack of other examples leaves a lot unsaid. That particular example denies the recovery of so very many people in this group alone. I think one of the defining elements of recovery from abuse (hell, from life – cuz abused folks aren’t the only ones who have trouble with their sex lives) is our right, our ability to create lives that work for US – nobunny else, just us. sore spot…. and btw, SO good to have you back with us Colin! I miss you when you’re not around. tigerbunny
I know that feeling of wanting a family so badly that I just wished they would be different. I have on occassion just wished that I *was* crazy and that all I needed was some psych drugs and then I’d have a family. But unfortunately, I can’t run from a lifetime of knowing that many of the things done to me were wrong. Or maybe fortunately. I see what not being able to deal with that kind of grief and loss can do to a person. 