Question:
<snip Where on earth did you get the idea there had to be a legal reason for an ng to exist? This is not a recovery group. It’s a discussion group. The purpose was to discuss recovery. That purpose gets tossed aside frequently here, because we’re a volatile and touchy group. Most of us are heavily into *not* being controlled, which probably explains the lack of a FAQ, as w ell as the fact that we have an Anti-FAQ instead. Perhaps someone could posts it? *grin* You’ve already covered some of the items in it, so it’s only fair you should get to read it before you give up on us!
<snip Read it, posted on it, look backwards to see the truth (. . . that sound airy enough for ya?). <snip haven’t been able to make one without eviscerating each other tell me you likely will never make one. See above. BTW, it’s impossible to eviserate someone over the net. :P
<snip Ah, but you can try. And some of the efforts have been magnificent. . . or is that malignant. Both? <snip There is a history, on Alan, of that stuff, and it feels good to oppose it. Ya’ll just pray to GAWD I get back to work, ’cause a few of ya are starting to look good as a hobby. Er…be careful there. If you’re saying what I think you are, I can only caution you that that’s what *Alan* thinks *he’s* doing – fixing us! He ain’t the only one, either, just the most tolerable one.
<snip Nope, it wouldn’t be about fixing anything. Some of the dangers, I saw, (posted on it too. . .) in this group was that ya’ll needed sumbuddie to love/hate. Somebody you could dismiss as a raver, while continuing to be abused. Somebody you could flick off, like a switch, if it got too bad, yet someone who you could feel superior to, even while you let them abuse you. Somebody ‘manageable’ as your surrogate abuser. EEEeeeewww . . . We all fix ourselves, or we get distracted. This opens a whole new can of worms about recovery and personal interactions. I am following the guidelines which have served me for 19 years in recovery. I’ve already learned that, "You didn’t do it right.", is the abusers line, not the survivors. It’s real popular here, so when I hear you, or anyone else saying it, the auto-reject of previously defined bullshit in my existence, kicks in. I am uncertain which way to go. My recovery works only as well as I work it. Something is going on, in my recovery, and I’m not entirely confortable with it. When I figure out which one is happening here, I’ll get back to you. Meybe sooner than that. R
Response:
I have absolutely no desire what-so-ever to be friends with that loon. He gives me the creeps over the net. I’m not sure *how* I’d react if I were ever to talk to him in person. Besides, half of what he says makes no sense to me, so I don’t see any possibility of it happening that way for me, though I’m glad it worked for you. But then again, I don’t hate Alan. He’s not worth that. Nobody is. Dragon
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There is another way to deal with Alan. I once hated Alan, but we both talked, learned from each other and have now become great friends. Beats ignoring him, and hoping he will just leave you alone. I’ve never had an argument with Alan that I recall. :-ppppppp Panther My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
You did not hear incorrectly. http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/ticker/article.asp?Symbol=US:HAL&Fee… ate=20030325&ID=2413773
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have absolutely no desire what-so-ever to be friends with that loon. He gives me the creeps over the net. I’m not sure *how* I’d react if I were ever to talk to him in person. Besides, half of what he says makes no sense to me, so I don’t see any possibility of it happening that way for me, though I’m glad it worked for you. But then again, I don’t hate Alan. He’s not worth that. Nobody is. Dragon There is another way to deal with Alan. I once hated Alan, but we both talked, learned from each other and have now become great friends. Beats ignoring him, and hoping he will just leave you alone. I’ve never had an argument with Alan that I recall. :-ppppppp Panther My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace Right 
— Free Anonymous Email Accounts & WebHosting for sexual abuse survivors http://www.asarian-intl.org http://www.asar-intl.com http://www.asarian-intl.org/inpsyte
Response:
It’s never a good idea to abuse anyone, anywhere. Here or there has nothing to do with it.
This coming from the woman who just warned us all how we would lose lives if we tried to get mad at her for her out of control raging, who just said she is taking stuff that has *nothing* to do with anyone here out on Alan and I, is a little hard to swallow. You are much better when you’re doing the abuser thing. Sensitive victim doesn’t fit you at all.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip Where on earth did you get the idea there had to be a legal reason for an ng to exist? This is not a recovery group. It’s a discussion group. The purpose was to discuss recovery. That purpose gets tossed aside frequently here, because we’re a volatile and touchy group. Most of us are heavily into *not* being controlled, which probably explains the lack of a FAQ, as w ell as the fact that we have an Anti-FAQ instead. Perhaps someone could posts it? *grin* You’ve already covered some of the items in it, so it’s only fair you should get to read it before you give up on us! <snip Read it, posted on it, look backwards to see the truth (. . . that sound airy enough for ya?).
*laugh* Yep. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip haven’t been able to make one without eviscerating each other tell me you likely will never make one. See above. BTW, it’s impossible to eviserate someone over the net. :P <snip Ah, but you can try. And some of the efforts have been magnificent. . . or is that malignant. Both?
Definitly both. :P – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip There is a history, on Alan, of that stuff, and it feels good to oppose it. Ya’ll just pray to GAWD I get back to work, ’cause a few of ya are starting to look good as a hobby. Er…be careful there. If you’re saying what I think you are, I can only caution you that that’s what *Alan* thinks *he’s* doing – fixing us! He ain’t the only one, either, just the most tolerable one. <snip Nope, it wouldn’t be about fixing anything. Some of the dangers, I saw, (posted on it too. . .) in this group was that ya’ll needed sumbuddie to love/hate. Somebody you could dismiss as a raver, while continuing to be abused. Somebody you could flick off, like a switch, if it got too bad, yet someone who you could feel superior to, even while you let them abuse you. Somebody ‘manageable’ as your surrogate abuser.
Now that’s an interesting take. Oddly enough, mine is more along the lines of some of us need to be able to abuse the abuser. Perhaps that’s my problem. Have to think on that one for a while. EEEeeeewww . . .
Lots of things that go on around here are like that. We all fix ourselves, or we get distracted. This opens a whole new can of worms about recovery and personal interactions. I am following the guidelines which have served me for 19 years in recovery. I’ve already learned that, "You didn’t do it right.", is the abusers line, not the survivors. It’s real popular here, so when I hear you, or anyone else saying it, the auto-reject of previously defined bullshit in my existence, kicks in. I am uncertain which way to go. My recovery works only as well as I work it. Something is going on, in my recovery, and I’m not entirely confortable with it. When I figure out which one is happening here, I’ll get back to you.
Mine appears to be backsliding again. Probably has to do with some other things going on in my life that I dont’ care to get into here. When I’m ready to talk about it, it won’t be here. Certain people make that impossible these days. Meybe sooner than that.
Good luck to you. Dragon
Response:
Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that?
with what? Would it be good idea not to abuse people here?
try it, see if it works for you. What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues?
if you’re safe within yourself, pretty much any place is safe. apart from that, it’s a tradeoff. no place can *provide* safety without controlling and constraining the environment. there are many online discussion places for abuse survivors which provide greater safety, but are of necessity more rule and authority bound than this place. to my knowledge, there aren’t any which offer more anarchy and freedom from rules/authority. given the plenitude of options, there’s no reason for this place to be anything other than what it is. people go where they choose, stay or leave as they choose. cal – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression) we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon became Prism Collective. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names from the first 6 months of my posting. cal My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
I got here in 99, I think. rosee pops in from time to time. I think you can find JustLis on asarian irc. Dustin and Hayley sometimes show up on Sorcery. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – X-No-Archive: yes I think I turned up in 1999 and some people have disappeared since Ive been here too, JustLis, Hayley, Rosee, Noel. Celeste, Nancywolf, and Dustin. I post here sometimes now popping in about once or twice a month as I am not too well. Lindsey Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression) we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon became Prism Collective. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names from the first 6 months of my posting. cal My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Below . . . <snip Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that? Alan had very little to do with most of those people leaving. This place can become toxic if you let it. For those people, it did, and they had a choice – stay here and become something they hated or leave. They left. <snip I can see that happening to a lot of folks who came and went. Oddly enough, they were in arguments with Alan, over, Garwsh, uhmm, ah, insults and slander. Or at least that’s how it works out on Google. And, guess what, Alan got punted off of several ISP’s Talk/chat rooms, and moderated groups. Uhmm, ah, yep, that was a common thread.
Everybody here has had arguments with Alan at one time or another. None of them left because of him, though. You see, if you can ignore Alan long enough – he goes away. Not away as in leaves, but as in gets distracted and leaves you alone. I’m OK with this place. Kooks and Rabid Recoverers are everywhere. They’re the flip side of the "Look at me! Why can’t you see the Light?" Rabid Christian factions. The common denominator is "Rabid". I believe you
bring Why "Christian factions"? There are rabid factions in every religion I’ve ever come in contact with. Most of them started out as "cults", including the Christians, who were somehow extremely threatening to authority figures, considering the basis of the religion is supposed to be peace and acceptance. Note: I said supposed to be. your own toxins with you, wherever you are.
I defintely agree with that. <snip Would it be good idea not to abuse people here? It’s never a good idea to abuse anyone, anywhere. Here or there has nothing to do with it. <snip Standing up for yourself has everything to do with it. That you can
always You didn’t ask about standing up for yourself. do, here. I may not do it to your standards, or anyones elses, but hey, I don’t have to.
I don’t actually have standards for you, though I’m sure I sound like I do at times. I use words like a knife. There was a time when it was the only defense I had, and it’s a really hard habit to get out of. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snip What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues? No is ever safe, except maybe a rubber room, and then only if you’re completely alone in a straight jacket. <snip I’m safe where I decide to make it safe for me. If it’s not safe, I do move away from danger. If there were no rules, and harpies were constantly buzzing around my ears, I’d try to escape. But there’s rules, and laws, and courts, and generally a decent legal system.
You didn’t ask about the safest place, you asked about a safe place. There isn’t a safe place. There is safety. It’s inside you, and it’s not easy to maintain when you grew up in an abusive home. Better’n some anyhow. But, I wonder if it’s all worth it. I mean, it’s absolutely not a recovery group. The amount of progress in some recoveries (and I shudder at the risk of taking others inventories) with an eye dropper. Occasionally, even less than that. The fact there is no FAQ (no pun) suggests there is no legal reason for this NG to exist. Further the fact that in all this time you
Where on earth did you get the idea there had to be a legal reason for an ng to exist? This is not a recovery group. It’s a discussion group. The purpose was to discuss recovery. That purpose gets tossed aside frequently here, because we’re a volatile and touchy group. Most of us are heavily into *not* being controlled, which probably explains the lack of a FAQ, as w ell as the fact that we have an Anti-FAQ instead. Perhaps someone could posts it? *grin* You’ve already covered some of the items in it, so it’s only fair you should get to read it before you give up on us! haven’t been able to make one without eviscerating each other tell me you likely will never make one.
See above. BTW, it’s impossible to eviserate someone over the net. :P And yes, I came here with questions. Alan has answered most of them, without ever asking. Every rule I ever learned about dealing with people in general, and people in the pain abuse has caused, has been broken by that toxic little creep (my opinion, only). There is a history, on Alan, of that stuff, and it feels good to oppose it. Ya’ll just pray to GAWD I get back to work, ’cause a few of ya are starting to look good as a hobby.
Er…be careful there. If you’re saying what I think you are, I can only caution you that that’s what *Alan* thinks *he’s* doing – fixing us! He ain’t the only one, either, just the most tolerable one. Dragon
Response:
Below . . . <snip
Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that? Alan had very little to do with most of those people leaving. This place can become toxic if you let it. For those people, it did, and they had a choice – stay here and become something they hated or leave. They left.
<snip I can see that happening to a lot of folks who came and went. Oddly enough, they were in arguments with Alan, over, Garwsh, uhmm, ah, insults and slander. Or at least that’s how it works out on Google. And, guess what, Alan got punted off of several ISP’s Talk/chat rooms, and moderated groups. Uhmm, ah, yep, that was a common thread. I’m OK with this place. Kooks and Rabid Recoverers are everywhere. They’re the flip side of the "Look at me! Why can’t you see the Light?" Rabid Christian factions. The common denominator is "Rabid". I believe you bring your own toxins with you, wherever you are. <snip Would it be good idea not to abuse people here? It’s never a good idea to abuse anyone, anywhere. Here or there has nothing to do with it.
<snip Standing up for yourself has everything to do with it. That you can always do, here. I may not do it to your standards, or anyones elses, but hey, I don’t have to. <snip What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues? No is ever safe, except maybe a rubber room, and then only if you’re completely alone in a straight jacket.
<snip I’m safe where I decide to make it safe for me. If it’s not safe, I do move away from danger. If there were no rules, and harpies were constantly buzzing around my ears, I’d try to escape. But there’s rules, and laws, and courts, and generally a decent legal system. Better’n some anyhow. But, I wonder if it’s all worth it. I mean, it’s absolutely not a recovery group. The amount of progress in some recoveries (and I shudder at the risk of taking others inventories) with an eye dropper. Occasionally, even less than that. The fact there is no FAQ (no pun) suggests there is no legal reason for this NG to exist. Further the fact that in all this time you haven’t been able to make one without eviscerating each other tell me you likely will never make one. And yes, I came here with questions. Alan has answered most of them, without ever asking. Every rule I ever learned about dealing with people in general, and people in the pain abuse has caused, has been broken by that toxic little creep (my opinion, only). There is a history, on Alan, of that stuff, and it feels good to oppose it. Ya’ll just pray to GAWD I get back to work, ’cause a few of ya are starting to look good as a hobby. R <snip
Response:
Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that?
Alan had very little to do with most of those people leaving. This place can become toxic if you let it. For those people, it did, and they had a choice – stay here and become something they hated or leave. They left. Would it be good idea not to abuse people here?
It’s never a good idea to abuse anyone, anywhere. Here or there has nothing to do with it. What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues?
No is ever safe, except maybe a rubber room, and then only if you’re completely alone in a straight jacket. Dragon
Response:
Uhmm, ah, ok, five. R <snip
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that? Nope Would it be good idea not to abuse people here? Sure. You wanna begin? What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues? A therapist’s office. R <snip
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression) we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon became Prism Collective. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names from the first 6 months of my posting. cal My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that?
Nope Would it be good idea not to abuse people here?
Sure. You wanna begin? What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues?
A therapist’s office. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – R <snip Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression) we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon became Prism Collective. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names from the first 6 months of my posting. cal My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
just being rigorous – its a FAQ … – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is the earliest I found. Good topics. tho. . . <snip Newsgroups: alt.abuse.recovery Nntp-Posting-Host: mars.cs.ukans.edu Lines: 102 Here is the outline of a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions list) for aar. It is in serious need of contributions to fill in the gaps… at the moment it’s all gaps! I will work on topics some but won’t promise much… I hope that some of the folks that posted good stuff about spoilers recently will work up a section on spoilers, that would be a good first topic, as it is a true FAQ. As you can see from the outline (partially stolen from asar) I already have some ideas about important topics. If you have other ideas, feel free to state them. (I recommend e-mail, unless you’re feeling ignored, as we don’t want to turn this into alt.abuse.recovery.faq.) If you have a topic you want to write about, and don’t see it in the list, I’m sure there’s a way to fit it in (assuming it’s appropriate to aar). I have a good list of ‘what to look for’ signs of abuse in an ongoing (adult) relationship (thanks, Starshine). I plan to write a section on parenting resources. Other than that, the field is wide open. Get to your keyboards! Until I am shouted down, I will exercise my discretion in adding submissions to the FAQ, but I doubt it’ll be an issue. Please send comments, suggestions and especially material to include Thanks == Frequently Asked Questions List for Alt.Abuse.Recovery This is a first effort at a list of commonly discussed topics on alt.abuse.recovery (henceforth aar). I have borrowed liberally from the alt.sexual.abuse.recovery (ASAR) FAQ, but there will be differences as we are a more diverse group. I have left big gaps that need to be filled in; I hope folks will volunteer to contribute new sections as they see the need, and/or point out sections that need to be updated/ changed/added/whatever. This document is organized as a decimal-indexed outline followed by the material indexed. The organization is liable to change as standards for WWW faq’s become available. Outline of Topics (aar = alt.abuse.recovery) 1. Welcome and general information about aar 1) What is aar? 2. Posting and reading aar 1) Alternative ways to access aar 2) Anonymous posting services 3. Posting etiquette 1) Ground rules 2) Spoiler warnings (*SPOILER*) 3) What makes a post appropriate to aar 4) "Meta" discussions 5) Skepticism 6) Old-fashioned discipline 4. Safety and Self Preservation 1) Is posting here safe? 5. Frequently Discussed Issues 1) What is abuse? 2) Am I being abused now (in an adult relationship)? 3) Medication: to take or not to take? 4) Do I need a therapist? 5) Is what I say so unimportant I shouldn’t bother? 6) Should I forgive the abuser(s)? 6. Resources 1) General sources of support 2) Specific sources of support 3) Printed material 1) Books 1) General recovery 2) Parenting 3) Dealing with an abused partner 2) Journals, Magazines, Newsletters = 1. Welcome and general information about aar 1.1) What is aar? Aar (alt.abuse.recovery) is a support group for folks dealing with any kind of abuse issues, from emotional to sexual, and a resource group for those trying to decide if they were abused or are being abused. <snip Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
there are old timers – who know – people who set this up in the internet. its part of the recovery fellowship and since they let me in … you know aiming the bar low and the door swings both ways … alt. power to it … then well, dick can get in. the idea is that he gets well; make progress. remember it was Bro Jack getting drug in here by me apparently – a sick dick himself — that Bro came up with changing the USA with 23 states beating up kids as part of their tax paid education. well, that was a big STOP right there … and Bro did it. we all just jumped on that healthy suggestion – maybe in a way that Bro did not intend – but hell … trust the process I say. maybe having a sick dick here is a good idea – showing better what healthy would look like … or a version of it anyway. he is suppose to be offender.recovery material … a real sick dick in recovery du jour … mon ami. sumbuddie duex amor Liz – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
| I got here in 99, I think. rosee pops in from time to time. I think | you can find JustLis on asarian irc. Dustin and Hayley sometimes show | up on Sorcery. Are you guys talking about "Dunstan"? jean |
| | X-No-Archive: yes | | I think I turned up in 1999 and some people have disappeared since Ive been | here too, JustLis, Hayley, Rosee, Noel. Celeste, Nancywolf, and Dustin. | I post here sometimes now popping in about once or twice a month as I am not | too well. | Lindsey |
| | | Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at | 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! | | | Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted | to | this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. | | I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in | Dissociation not depression) | | we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? | i | don’t know why we stopped. | | I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. | Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like | their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon | became Prism Collective. | | i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before | being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer | of | 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. | | Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, | because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first | got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. | | i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course | several who still *are* around. | | Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, | many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him | lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names | from the first 6 months of my posting. | | cal | | | | My Life In Insanity | http://www.insanitygirl.com | and | Kaitlyn’s Place | http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace | | | — | For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: | If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: | | https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
Response:
Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!!
Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Message 1 in thread View this article only Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery Well, timid has created alt.abuse.recovery. timid also has tried to create alt.abuse.offender.recovery, but haven’t seen that one show up at timid’s place of work yet, so may have to do it again. Some sites will not carry alt.abuse.recovery because timid did not go throught the net.cops method of creating alt newsgroups which is to talk it to death on alt.configs. Someone who want to do that CAN. I chose the name of abuse.recovery because it will be towards the FRONT of a sorted newsgroups list and it is very appropriate for survivors of abuse. alt.abuse.recovery is a place for all abuse survivors to discuss their problems, abuse, and recovery. it is also a place to give and get support from people who are survivors and/or Significant Others (SO) of survivors. the people who belong on alt.abuse.recovery include, but is not limited to, people who were/are emotionally, physically, or sexually abused. Of course, there is already an alt.sexual.abuse.recovery that deals specifically with sexual abuse recovery, including rape. there is also a group called alt.recovery, but that seems to be for substance abuse recovery or for people in 12 step programs (of course timid is probably wrong and people will correct timid on this, timid is sure, just hope its done nicely). Someone mentioned a newsgroup called alt.abuse-recovery, but timid had never heard of it before. timid found it on ONE news server timid has access to, but not any that timid is responsible for. it does not seem to have ANY traffic and many people do not seem to be aware of its existance. My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
no, no charter. at least none that i’ve ever seen or heard of – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots)
me too. i think we should strike a committee to find him and get him to come back. on a less facetious …ok, totally serious note… i hope he’s well. cal
Response:
Geez, do ya think Alan had anything to do with that? Would it be good idea not to abuse people here? What would you call a safe place to talk about abuse and survival issues? R <snip
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression) we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. I remember that. I posted in asd for about a year before I left. Over there I remember Rainbow Colors most of all. I always like their name. When I first posted there it was as OurFamily and soon became Prism Collective. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode. i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. Dang the names that are flying around who do not post here anymore, many of them I miss. Steph, Allison, Bermy, Clue, averti (miss him lots), Swords, Fitz, Terry Blunt (don’t miss him at all) All names from the first 6 months of my posting. cal My Life In Insanity http://www.insanitygirl.com and Kaitlyn’s Place http://asarian-intl.org/~kaitlynsplace
Response:
Gee this means that AAR will be 10 years old come April 21, 2003 at 8:06:10. PARTY TIME!!!!!! Do you remember who was actively posting in AAR when you first posted to this group? I do.. Peter, Blain, Swords, timid, ~mouse. I came into aar around April of 1996 as well as ASAR and ASD (as in Dissociation not depression)
we used to call it asdis to avoid confusion. does anyone remember that? i don’t know why we stopped. i first showed up in the fall of 96, but only stayed a month or so before being forced to go offline for health reasons. i came back in the summer of 97 and i’ve been around more or less continuously since then. Who was in aar? It’s hard for me to keep aar and asar straight, because so many people tended to post in both places. When I first got here I remember most of all averti, Buff and geode.
i remember them and others who i wish were still around, and of course several who still *are* around. cal
Response:
This is the earliest I found. Good topics. tho. . . <snip Newsgroups: alt.abuse.recovery Nntp-Posting-Host: mars.cs.ukans.edu Lines: 102 Here is the outline of a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions list) for aar. It is in serious need of contributions to fill in the gaps… at the moment it’s all gaps! I will work on topics some but won’t promise much… I hope that some of the folks that posted good stuff about spoilers recently will work up a section on spoilers, that would be a good first topic, as it is a true FAQ. As you can see from the outline (partially stolen from asar) I already have some ideas about important topics. If you have other ideas, feel free to state them. (I recommend e-mail, unless you’re feeling ignored, as we don’t want to turn this into alt.abuse.recovery.faq.) If you have a topic you want to write about, and don’t see it in the list, I’m sure there’s a way to fit it in (assuming it’s appropriate to aar). I have a good list of ‘what to look for’ signs of abuse in an ongoing (adult) relationship (thanks, Starshine). I plan to write a section on parenting resources. Other than that, the field is wide open. Get to your keyboards! Until I am shouted down, I will exercise my discretion in adding submissions to the FAQ, but I doubt it’ll be an issue. Please send comments, suggestions and especially material to include Thanks == Frequently Asked Questions List for Alt.Abuse.Recovery This is a first effort at a list of commonly discussed topics on alt.abuse.recovery (henceforth aar). I have borrowed liberally from the alt.sexual.abuse.recovery (ASAR) FAQ, but there will be differences as we are a more diverse group. I have left big gaps that need to be filled in; I hope folks will volunteer to contribute new sections as they see the need, and/or point out sections that need to be updated/ changed/added/whatever. This document is organized as a decimal-indexed outline followed by the material indexed. The organization is liable to change as standards for WWW faq’s become available. Outline of Topics (aar = alt.abuse.recovery) 1. Welcome and general information about aar 1) What is aar? 2. Posting and reading aar 1) Alternative ways to access aar 2) Anonymous posting services 3. Posting etiquette 1) Ground rules 2) Spoiler warnings (*SPOILER*) 3) What makes a post appropriate to aar 4) "Meta" discussions 5) Skepticism 6) Old-fashioned discipline 4. Safety and Self Preservation 1) Is posting here safe? 5. Frequently Discussed Issues 1) What is abuse? 2) Am I being abused now (in an adult relationship)? 3) Medication: to take or not to take? 4) Do I need a therapist? 5) Is what I say so unimportant I shouldn’t bother? 6) Should I forgive the abuser(s)? 6. Resources 1) General sources of support 2) Specific sources of support 3) Printed material 1) Books 1) General recovery 2) Parenting 3) Dealing with an abused partner 2) Journals, Magazines, Newsletters = 1. Welcome and general information about aar 1.1) What is aar? Aar (alt.abuse.recovery) is a support group for folks dealing with any kind of abuse issues, from emotional to sexual, and a resource group for those trying to decide if they were abused or are being abused. <snip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
My understanding is that every NG has to have a charter, in order to have been created. At least recently. I don’t know if that’s the way it’s always been. At least the alt. categories. But my info is only a hear-say. I don’t have the facts. I’d like to find out more. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
if you dig deep enough in google, you’ll come up with the proposal to create this group. it was a spin-off of asar.. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
LOL I looked there, too. Get one, I’ll follow it. R <snip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Or is all we have the Anti-Faq?
Response:
Subscribe to Posts
Actually Lexapro is the *active* isomer of Celexa which in practice means that Lexapro is more potent and in theory that it should have fewer side effects. The jury is still out on this. Philip What medication are you trying to reduce and in what way? Philip I was reducing my citalpram from 20mg to 10mg to nothing. I’ve been on 10mg for a number of weeks. I’ve been very unsure of whether this is the right thing to do but my pdoc and I are working together on this. I’ve never liked taking medication. Talking therapy and catharsis seemed to have worked best for me. Medication just seemed to control symptoms but really, who knows what they do. Right now I feel like I’ve lost a lot of control of my situation. This is when I start really panicking and running for the medication. Unfortunately (!) everyone around me says that I’m doing better than I think. Maybe I *can* deal with this on my own without the medication. I dunno… Jan 